Why video games slowly drain your bank account

Gaming can be an expensive hobby... ask anyone who's walked into a GameStop to get the latest copy of Grand Theft Auto: Beating up your Grandma for their X-Box. Sixty bucks a pop? Really?

Here's how it breaks down in pricing...

• $12 goes to the retailer.
• $5 goes toward discounts, game returns and retail cross-marketing. (You didn't think those cardboard standees were free, did you?)
• $10 goes toward cost of goods sold, which includes manufacturing the game disc, shipping the games to the store and anything else directly related to production and delivery of the game package.

"It is generally accepted that most publishers receive $30 to $35 per game sold before they run into overhead, development and marketing costs."

That's all fine and dandy, but I have a different theory on why it costs so much to buy a video game

• $10 goes to the donut fund that all the programmers use to feed themselves during the development of the game.
• $5 goes to pay the Microsoft god Bill Gates so he doesn't smite unsuspecting game companies.
• $5 is for the company party after the game is released. They spend it on cake and a live band (usually Bon Jovi).
• $20 goes to making the cover art to a game. This usually takes longer and is more thought out than the actual programming of the game itself.
  
• $5 is for the Canadians, because they secretly run America.
• $5 is to the "How can we somehow add a female character with a large chest" fund that all gaming companies have.
• $10 goes to paying off all the gaming publications to trick you into thinking this is a good game.

In other words, you get hosed.